


You Weren't Supposed to Know (I Might've Told You Anyway)

by a_little_hazy



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Creeper Hybrid Sam | Awesamdude, Gen, I never beta, Mentioned Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Panic Attacks, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Techno cared but denies it a lot, Warden Sam | Awesamdude, enderwalking is a stand in for panic attacks, i was having Thoughts, morally grey awesamdude, no beta we die like wilbur soot, poor man gets ganged up on people who have to protect what little they have
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29887650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_little_hazy/pseuds/a_little_hazy
Summary: Sam finds some things out.Techno and Phil may or may not still have things they need to work out.aka: sam pops on over at a bad time and everyone talks
Relationships: Ranboo & Sam | Awesamdude, Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 370





	You Weren't Supposed to Know (I Might've Told You Anyway)

**Author's Note:**

> an expansion of a drabble i shared with the discord like a day or two ago  
> i was having Thoughs about Mr awesamdude and i love his character i wanna talk about it so bad

Ranboo had been stewing in the guilt.

The guilt of knowing he'd done something wrong and never fixing it. Tommy was dead, his friends were suffering, and Ranboo had never felt more irredeemable. What a hypocrite.

His house always felt cold, despite the insulation and the countless blankets he buried himself under. He ended up moving everything he had down to his vault, insulated by layers of rock and obsidian. It only helped a little.

It made going outside a bit of a chore, but he knew that he couldn't just hang around and mope. He spent his time working on little maintenance jobs around his house and the arctic. Reorganizing his chest was numbly comforting, letting him take his mind off things for the few hours that it took.

But things were building up. Every day a pressure grew in his chest. Every time he saw Sam Nook, or worked on the hotel, or even stepped foot in the SMP lands, he was reminded of what happened. His rage curled into guilt and sadness and pain. He felt so responsible.

One day, both Techno and Phil were home, a bit of a rare sight as of recently. They must've caught on to his listless behavior because Phil approached Ranboo while he was visiting the bears at the back of the house, Techno hovering behind.

"Hey, mate," Phil prodded gently. "You alright?"

Ranboo's hands shook in Ed's fur. "There's just been... a lot of things on my mind recently."

"Like what?" Phil asks gently. Techno looked at something over the horizon.

"Like... like how I burned down the community house, and I had a _disk_ -" Ranboo's voice broke, the guilt and shame welling up in this throat and suffocating him.

"You know we don't care about that, yeah?" Phil said softly, moving to step forward, but Techno slapped him on the shoulder and gestured outwards. Ranboo didn't notice.

"No! Don't you understand!?" Ranboo yells, throwing his hands down. Tears stream down his cheeks, creating a slight hissing noise as they burn away at his flesh.

"everybody _else_ will care! You guys may not, but everybody else will care that I was _taking to Dream--_ "

"Ranboo-" Techno tries to say, but Ranboo clasps his hands over his ears to block it all out.

"-and everybody else will care that I had a _disk_ -"

Phil tires. " _Ranboo_ -"

"-and they'll _all_ care that I blew up the community house I because I! _Was working with! Dream!_ And now-" Ragged breaths wrack through Ranboo's chest. It hurts, and his scalp stings, and the tears are just flowing fast, and he can't make them _stop_ \--

"Ranboo?" A new voice called. It made everything in him freeze, body going rigid before slowly turned around, praying it wasn't true. Sam stood a few feet away, expression concealed by his welding mask. Silence lay heavy in the air as Ranboo's confessions hung between them on a noose.

"Ranboo?" Phil says gently, holding out a hand. "Why don't you come over here?"

Shakily, Ranboo stumbles away from Sam. Sam's head follows him, though, and he feels suffocated by the gaze even after he hides behind Techno's cape. Oh god, _oh god_ , Sam knew. Sam knew, and now he'd be put in prison, like he deserves with _Dream_ , with that _murderer_ . The man that he helped bring down L'manberg, who he helped blow up the community house and keep disks hidden, and _he was going to rot away in that obsidian room_ , wasn't he?

Violent breaths rip themselves from Ranboo's chest, strained, choked sounds following. It sounded nearly painful, and everyone was torn between keeping an eye on the enemy and tending to the distressed Ender hybrid. It got worse, it always does, and Ranboo hunches in on himself. Finally, Phil breaks, turning to Ranboo, about to reach out, when everything _stops_. The sounds stifle in Ranboo's throat, and he snaps up, spine straight and rigid. His eyes look glazed over, dull and completely lifeless.

Then, he turns around and starts to walk.

"Oh, _Jesus_ ," Phil says. He looks to Techno quickly. "You deal with that; I'll go get Ranboo."

Techno nods, ear flicking as he turns his attention back to Sam, who was just watching the situation play out.

"Hold on, what-"

Techno cuts Sam off by swinging his axe, the one Ranboo had gifted him, across the back of Sam's neck, catching him in the curve. He brandishes his trident, tail swaying dangerously behind him.

"Oh, no," Techno says. "You're not gonna get any more than that little bit of information, got it? Knowing you, you'd go off and tell everyone that we're harboring an accomplice to Dream, and then everybody would be knockin' on my door, lookin' for another one of my lives."

Techno towers over Sam, and he shuffles nervously. He knows that he could attempt to get away in theory, but Technoblade is worlds better at fighting, and their armor is evenly matched. He doubts he'd be able to actually do anything for his situation. Plus, he wasn't used to looking _up_ to someone when they spoke.

Slowly, carefully, he nods, and Techno snorts in mock satisfaction.

"Now, we're going to go inside where you'd have to get through Steve to escape, and we're going to wait for Phil. Got it?"

God, Ranboo walks fast. Phil has to practically sprint in the snow to keep up, wings flapping disjointedly to keep himself from falling over. He tries to grip onto Ranboo's arm, but the hybrid pulls away with ease. He was surprisingly strong, despite having such a tall and lanky stature. Distantly, Phil remembers a time where he was afraid to take a hit from an Enderman.

Phil growls in frustration. Nothing was working, and Ranboo was quickly getting out of range. He had to think of something. Fast.

Suddenly, an idea popped into Phil's head. Things Ranboo had been telling him flashed through his mind as he quickly pulled out a shovel. His beloved Silky Spoon dug into the dirt below him, carefully lifting out a neat chunk of earth with the grass still perfectly intact on top.

"Hey, Ranboo!" Phil called softly, making him stop. "I've got something I think you'd like."

Ranboo turns around, and his eyes zero in on the dirt chunk. His eyes refocused like an observer getting set for the first time, and his hands reached out ever so slightly. Phil smiled. He could work with this.

"Come on, you can have it; you just need to take it," Phil says, taking a careful step back. Ranboo took a step forward, following Phil. Okay, okay. This works.

With careful, soothing words to keep Ranboo from getting discouraged, Phil leads him back to the house. Ranboo gives the occasional trill from the back of his throat, and Phil coos back at him, wings puffing up against the cold.

Soon enough, Phil is able to back himself through the door, after some grumbling from Steve, into Techno's cottage. Ranboo ducks under the door, tail swaying calmly behind him.

"Good lad," Phil quickly praises, finally allowing Ranboo to ease the grass block out of his hands. Ranboo _vwoops_ happily, a sound that Edward quickly mirrors. He seems content with just holding the grass block and keeping quietly to himself, much to Phil's relief.

Steve lays back against the door, and Phil finally lets himself relax. Almost immediately, Techno clears his throat, bringing Phil back to the situation at hand. Techno stands with his axe and trident at the ready, with Sam standing on the cottage's opposite side. Right. _Right_.

"Alright," Phil claps his hands together. "Let's talk, shall we?"

"So what, he just? Isn't aware of what he does sometimes?"

"From what he's told us, yes." Techno pinches the bridge of his nose. He hates talking about Ranboo like he's not there.

"But it's heavily implied that he's been working with Dream? And _still_ could be?"

"Maybe? We don't know," Phil sighs. "He doesn't tell us much, but that might be because he doesn't know much himself."

Sam's eyebrows twitch. "Then he needs to be put under some kind of surveillance-"

Phil seethes. "You are _not_ going to throw him in a cell and act like he's some kind of fucking _experiment_ -"

"He could be putting the server in danger! He could be working with Dream _right now_!"

"And what kind of target do you think that would be putting on his back, huh?" Techno interjects. "If people knew that he was your little experiment because he _might_ be working with Dream, do you know what kind of danger that would put _him_ in?"

"He wouldn't be my experiment!" Sam yells. "I wouldn't throw him in the prison either, but he _needs_ to be watched-"

"So what would you do then, huh?" Phil's wings puff up. "Keep him locked up in your house? Stay by his side _every moment of the day_?"

"I don't know!"

The room falls into a tense silence. Ranboo vwoops at Edward.

"I don't know, okay? But this... this _Enderwalk_ could be putting Ranboo _and_ the server in danger. We can't make that kind of risk, not with the way things are right now."

Techno snorts. "Well, it sounds like right now you're just as clueless as the rest of us."

Techno's statement hangs between them. It makes something in Sam twist uncomfortably.

"Can you... do you know how to wake him up?"

"I don't know if that would be a good idea right now." Phil's voice is stern.

"He might be able to tell us something, though," Techno says softly, and Phil gives in for the moment.

He moves carefully over to Ranboo, crouching over furniture and carefully finessing the grass block from Ranboo's hands. The sound the hybrid makes is downright pathetic, and it hurts Phil's heart just to hear it.

"Ranboo, c'mon, buddy." Phil paps his cheek, smiling when some of the haze disappears from his eyes. "Come on, you can do it."

Phil takes one of Ranboo's hands in his, pinching the skin in the juncture between his thumb and paint finger. Ranboo squeaks, pulling his hand away.

" _Phil_ , what-" Ranboo looks up, making eye contact with Sam and freezing. He quickly looks down, rubbing his hands together anxiously.

"Hey, mate," Phil says with a smile. "We're trying to figure out what to do now, okay? We thought you may be able to offer insight."

Ranboo's eyes dart around the room, and Phil offers the grass block back. Ranboo takes it graciously.

"I don't know how much help I'll be..."

"Don't worry about it," Techno says. "Anything that you know that we don't will help."

Ranboo nods, clutching his grass block to his chest.

"So... you blackout sometimes?" Sam starts. Ranboo nods. "Can you tell us about that?"

"I don't-I don't know. I just... Sometimes I wake up, and I'm not where I fell asleep. My tools always have super low durability when I wake up, and I have to go heal them, and I don't know _what_ I do I just know that I'm doing _something_ , and my beacon is gone _and_ \--"

"Hey, calm down," Sam soothes. "One thing at a time. You go mining?"

"Y-yeah, I think." Ranboo rubs at his eyes, leaving the paler skin red and irritated.

"But you don't actually know?" Techno asks.

" _No_ , I don't, I-"

"Hey, it's alright, Ranboo. Have you ever tried to figure it out?" Phil asks again, patting Ranboo's grass block lightly.

"I tried maps once, it didn't work..."

"Okay..." Sam sighs, pressing his hands together. "You've visited the prison while Enderwalking-"

"What-"

"-and you had a memory book with you. Do you have, like, another one?"

At the question, Ranboo freezes up, clutching his grass block close to his chest. He sucks in a ragged breath as tears pool in the corner of his eyes. Suddenly, he goes slack, coming to a moment later and cooing happily at his block. His eyes are hazy.

"Alright, that's enough, no more questions," Techno says gruffly.

"So..." Phil trails off, sitting back on his haunches.

"Let's... let's move this downstairs," Techno decides, tearing his gaze away from Ranboo. He gestures for Phil to head down first, which he easily complies with. Sam goes down second. Techno takes a moment to scratch Steve's head, leaning down and cooing softly at the bear.

"Stay," He says, and Steve huffs. "Look after Ranboo."

Then he moves down the ladder.

"-look, all I'm saying is that my suspicions are pretty much confirmed-"

"That he should be _locked up_!?"

"No, of course not, but he's d-he could be in danger-"

"No, no, back up." Techno holds up his hands. "What were you about to say?"

"I was just stumbling over my words-"

"No, you were going to say that he's _dangerous_ ." Techno takes a threatening step forward. "So just because he's _potentially_ dangerous, he should be what? Locked up? Put on trial? Why don't you take one of his lives while you at it!"

"Techno..." Phil puts a soft hand on Techno's shoulder. Techno looks back, and he understands, he knows, but the rage still bubbles in his blood.

"So _what_?" He settles on saying.

"He... he needs to be watched. Because, _yes_ , this is something dangerous." Sam runs a clawed hand through his hair. "Not the prison, that would be counterproductive, but something clearly triggers that. We need to figure out what, and what he does, who he's talking to-"

"You want us to stalk him?" Phil raises a brow. "Sure, let's just read his memory book while we're at it. He seems pretty out of it right now, I'm sure I could just _waltz on over_ and read it in front of his face, and he would know."

"That's not--I would _never_ imply that," Sam says sternly. "That is a violation of his closest privacies, that's-that's Dream level shit. No, I'm-I'm just talking about in general. None of you have ever seen him do that before, right?"

Sam waits for a response. He gets none.

"Right, so it happens when he's alone, unmonitored. All I'm saying is we need to keep that from happening. Because he _will_ Enderwalk again, but if someone is there, we'll know _why_ it happened, and we'll know where he's going. I'm sure Ranboo would be just as relieved to find out what he's doing as much as the rest of us."

Techno raises a brow. "And?"

"... _and_ , if he is actually working with Dream, we can stop him."

Phil sighs, casting a glance at Techno. They share a look for a long, suffocating moment before he relaxes his stance and lets his arms uncross.

"Alright, fine, but we're not exactly welcome in most places of the SMP."

"I'll-I'll watch him-"

"Nope. No way." Techno's ear flicks. "No way we're leaving him alone with you."

"Who else are you gonna leave him with?"

Techno's eye twitches. "Fine. But if he goes missing, you'll be the first person I hunt down."

"Fair enough," Sam hums. "So... have we come to a conclusion? Can I... leave your basement?"

"One more thing," Phil says. His wings, battered and broken, shift behind him, tucked into the tight space. "Why were you here in the first place?"

"Oh, well, Ranboo told me that he lives up here with you lot when he visited the prison." Sam waves his finger around. "I was getting kind of worried about him, so I thought I'd stop by and check-in. He's been handling things... not very well, recently."

"Yeah... yeah," Phil sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. He casts a hard look at Sam. "Tell no one about this. If it gets out at all, there will never be a person who regrets having three lives more than you. Ever."

Sam nods quickly. "Understood. Can I... can I go?"

"Yeah, knock yourself out. Techno, do we have an extra nether brick layin' around?"

Techno's response fades away as Sam leaves, trudging through the snow, back to the repaired portal he had tracked down to find Ranboo. He took a deep breath, already preparing himself for whatever there is to come.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!  
> Join the [Discord server](https://discord.gg/7VymgKAVWR) :D


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